i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
