Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
