I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
