I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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