he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
