hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
should my penis look like a turkey
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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