I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
