just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
