Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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