Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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