its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
