Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
