babies were throwing up all over the place
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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