I seem to have left my pride at pride
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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