If that was your dad, he is hot
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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