I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
