I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
