Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
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