I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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