dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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