Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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