I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
