I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
