Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
