tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
