i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Randomize
