Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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