you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
