A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
