He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
