youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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