When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
