i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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