Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize