Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
