i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
