If i come over, it means nothing
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
