If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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