let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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