butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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