Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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