sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
