are you still at the devil's house?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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