do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
