so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
