i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
