Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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