...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
