New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
