good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
