Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
